| Man, happiness ever agiain? |
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| 11:20pm 21/11/2002 |
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mood:  depressed
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yeah well today, i started to cry for no reason. i feel like shit, at one point an time in my life i was the hpiest guy in the world, but it came crashing down in one second, the only time i as happy, was when i was with kelley, till se broke my heart, and ever since then it has remained brokin, i have gone out with many pepole, to see if they could possiable mend my brokin heart back into the thing that it once was, but noone could. not any one not, ashley, shelli, lena, ashley, amy, stephanie,teri, noone, all of these have ended in one thing, hurt and pain. for who? ME, of course, duhh, i am sick and tired of getin hurt, one of these times i am goin to get knocked down and never get bak up, no this is not saying i am goin to kill myself, soo to anyone who reads my enrty, do not hurt anyone, cause you nver knwo how t might effect them, me i push it away, then when i am all alone, i sit in my room thinkig about all that have hurt my and i cry.. that might be girlish, but hy that is what all you pepole have broken me down to, tear... |
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| WOW |
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| 10:16am 13/11/2002 |
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mood:  cheerful
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Wow, i have not updated this thing in soooo long...Well lets seee, umm sice school hs started i have been fucked over bye umm lets see, 3 or 4 girls, hahaha, i love it, lol, wow that is some kind of a record. Wel i hae decided to join wrestling, today was my first da, it was great i love it already.. Umm today kell bell was eelin blue, so whenever i seen her i hugged her, i tink it helped, i hope so, she is a good person, we have alot in common we both get fucked over by pepole way 2much.. but hey whatcan you do, well i am goin to go, cause i am talkin to kell and i do not feel like typin anymore peace...
- What the shit - |
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| ohhhh,k |
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| 12:37am 26/07/2002 |
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K well it has been a while since i wrote in here, well not really much has happened, just been hangin with my beba, kelley, awww, everyday is closer, and closer to the 9th, i have come to the conculsion that, work is the stupidest thing in the world, haha, yes that is is, lol, well there are somethigs that scare me about kelley, but see the thing is, i knwo she loves me, and i love her but, what about.... Ohhh k, haha, leave you hangin, well that is for me and her to discusse, we will see what happens, do i trust her? YES, do I trust ... The world may never know.... |
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| Ohhhh k |
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| 12:36am 26/07/2002 |
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mood: worried
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K well it has been a while since i wrote in here, well not really much has happened, just been hangin with my beba, kelley, awww, everyday is closer, and closer to the 9th, i have come to the conculsion that, work is the stupidest thing in the world, haha, yes that is is, lol, well there are somethigs that scare me about kelley, but see the thing is, i knwo she loves me, and i love her but, what about.... Ohhh k, haha, leave you hangin, well that is for me and her to discusse, we will see what happens, do i trust her? YES, do I trust ... The world may never know.... |
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| Ohhhh k |
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| 12:36am 26/07/2002 |
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mood: worried
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K well it has been a while since i wrote in here, well not really much has happened, just been hangin with my beba, kelley, awww, everyday is closer, and closer to the 9th, i have come to the conculsion that, work is the stupidest thing in the world, haha, yes that is is, lol, well there are somethigs that scare me about kelley, but see the thing is, i knwo she loves me, and i love her but, what about.... Ohhh k, haha, leave you hangin, well that is for me and her to discusse, we will see what happens, do i trust her? YES, do I trust ... The world may never know.... |
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| Ohhhh k |
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| 12:31am 26/07/2002 |
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mood: worried
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K well it has been a while since i wrote in here, well not really much has happened, just been hangin with my beba, kelley, awww, everyday is closer, and closer to the 9th, i have come to the conculsion that, work is the stupidest thing in the world, haha, yes that is is, lol, well there are somethigs that scare me about kelley, but see the thing is, i knwo she loves me, and i love her but, what about.... Ohhh k, haha, leave you hangin, well that is for me and her to discusse, we will see what happens, do i trust her? YES, do I trust ... The world may never know.... |
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| Ohhhh k |
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| 12:31am 26/07/2002 |
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mood: worried
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K well it has been a while since i wrote in here, well not really much has happened, just been hangin with my beba, kelley, awww, everyday is closer, and closer to the 9th, i have come to the conculsion that, work is the stupidest thing in the world, haha, yes that is is, lol, well there are somethigs that scare me about kelley, but see the thing is, i knwo she loves me, and i love her but, what about.... Ohhh k, haha, leave you hangin, well that is for me and her to discusse, we will see what happens, do i trust her? YES, do I trust ... The world may never know.... |
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| Get the point, damn... |
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| 11:15am 19/07/2002 |
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Ohhh, k i have not wote in here for a while, well lets start off with what has been goin on, well me and kelle are goin to be gettin back togeather,we have decided to wait till August 9th, why? Cause that would have bees are 2 year anniversiary,i have somethin vry special planed, it will be a night she will remeber for the rest of her life, i asure that, Tomarrow i have work, which suchs,, But there is a plus, i am gettin paid,which means me and kelley are goin to the movies, and then bowling, hazzza, i canm not wait, yes there is somethin botherin me, but i wil no say cue yeah all it is, is that i leave yo wit this...
Get the Damn Piont.... |
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| Surveys rock, i think soooo..... |
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| 11:26pm 05/07/2002 |
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mood:  awake
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---Body---
1. What do you most like about your body?: Ohhh, gotta be the tan baby...yeah
2. And least?: My scar, ewwwwwww, go away...
3. How many fillings do you have?: None, i brush my teeth, lol
4. Do you think you're good looking?: Ummm, i guess so, i am not considied, so i dunno....
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: I dunno, ask them, not me, duhhhhhhhhhh
6. Do you look like any celebrities?: Nah, not that good lookin, lol
--Fashion---
1. Do you wear a watch?: Nah, time goes quicker when you don't knwo what time it is, lol
2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: Like 5, lol
3. Favorite pants/skirt color?: My dark blue ones, the polo ones, ohhh yeah fav's
4. Most expensive item of clothing?: My 50$ Khakis
5. What kind of shoes do you wear?: all depends on what i am wearing, or what i am doin...
6. Describe your style in one word: My very own...
---Your Friends---
1. Do your friends 'know' you?: Yes, they know me, gezzzzz
2. What do they tend to be like?: Fun, Funny, not normal, lol
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: No not really, prpolr think we might be imature, but we just really do nto carewhat they think, lol
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: Really, only 1, levi, he is the man..
---Music/TV/Film/Books---
1. Favorite band ever?: GodSmack, Disturbed, Mudvayne
2. Most listened to bands: Look above....
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: I Really really do not care what they look like..lol
4. Can you play an instrument?: Yes, i have the ability to play on but i will nto play one...
5. Type of music most listened to?: I listen to a little bit of everything...
6. Type never listened to?: Classical...
7. Favorite book?: playboy, lol
---Underwear---
1. Ladies, do you like to wear thongs?: I guess I don't get to answer this question :(
4. What is the nicest colour for underwear?: gray, or red
5. Do you find it uncomfortable without a bra?: No, I'm fine.
6. Do you make it a habit of showing people your underwear?: I am proud of some of my boxers..lol
---Religion---
1. Do you detest religion?: No. i just do not preach it
2. How do you think this universe was formed?: i bought it on the black market, lol
3. If you currently follow a religion, do you think people who belong to another religion are ignorant?: I do not care, lol
4. If you were in a hostage situation, and you were given a choice, to either praise the demon they follow or die, what would you choose?: goos ?, well hen i get in that situation, i will decide, lol
---Homosexuality---
1. What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: i have no problem with it, whateer floats there boat, lol
2. Do you detest homosexuality?: No, do what makes you happy...
3. Do you agree or disagree with gay or lesbian couples bringing up children?: no, if they want to explain it to there kids they can..
---General Questions---
1. Whom do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment?: i will go with, my dad, lol
2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?: sunny, cause sunny days are happy days
3. Do you consider yourself lucky?: nah, i call it skill, lol
4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide?: Hell no, if you think the only way you can b happy is dead then, hey you do not deserve to live, sorry, i just hate it when pepole talk about suicde, lol
5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: Happy, giddy... |
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| Wasting my time... |
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| 12:28am 05/07/2002 |
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mood: calm
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K well, i have decide to take upon the hardest task in mylife, i have finally decided to stop tryin to hook up wih kelly, it will be hard but i am, i have decide to stop tormenting her, lol, and just be really good freinds, no fellings, just care about her in a different way, cause i kwno nothing is goin to happen so, we wil leave it at tht, k, sounds got, buh bye for now, peace
Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all again |
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| take it from kelly thinking really blows... |
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| 11:48pm 04/07/2002 |
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mood: thankful
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K well today was alot of fun, i woke up set everythingup and when i was attemptingto set up the volleybal net and levi as sittin there watchin me,lol, these fire guys came over and helped me untangle it, whic was really coll and so are they they rock, so when everyone got there they came back and payed vollyball, which was fun, then we ate and what not, then they came back from a fire and me, crazy dave, freaky frank, and kelly, whopped they in b-ball, they are rough, lol, which was my sport so i tought them a lesson, lol, not really, ten fireworks them everyone left, and i am tired so buh bye for now, time to think about some tings that are upsettin me, peace |
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| happy happy |
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| 10:49pm 02/07/2002 |
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mood:  energetic
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ohhhh, k i dunno why but i am soo happy right now, everything is goin great, i have great friends, i have a party comin up, me and kelly hung out today, she imed me, first time for everything,, lol.. ohhh, that couch haha, fun fun, cause i am the old john risdon again, wich is the funny, fun, hyper john risdon, the one that evryone ikes, lol, soo buh bye for now...peace |
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| WOW i am sooo happy |
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| 11:59am 02/07/2002 |
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mood: happy
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well i am one happy person, this weekis goingreat, lets see i did not have work today, or yesterday, thank god, lol, then yesterday me and my mom went and got al the food and what not for my party, wich is goin to alot of fun... it is hot, lol, too hot, plus everything is goin prety goo so far, i am goin to bu fireworks 2marrow, which wll run me up alot, lol, wel i am talkin to kelly, which is alwas a good thing, so i am goin to go buh bye |
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| Party party |
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| 10:33pm 30/06/2002 |
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mood: awake
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Ohhhh, k pepole, well i have been talkin about i might have a party for like the past few weeks, so, well i am havin one, on thursday, so it starts at like 3:30 and goes untill like 11:30 it has to g tll dark for fireworks and what not, all you have to bring is you swim suit, except kelly you have to bring that good ss pie/cake or whatever it is, lol,k well pepole comment and tell me if you are comin, ken do you think you can bring a volleybll if you come, and all these poeple are invited, if your name is not here and you think iit shoudl be tell me, k, well here we go..
Kelly coppersmih
levi pedlar
frank gordon
courtney hurt
ken crocker
josh- money sanders
sandy watson
jessy legree
Steve nowicki
chrisina kassin
mandy
brandi
tiffany
matt cason
and yeah if there is anyone, anybody can think of ad they think i should invite then tell me,yeah, so fun fun, k well tell me what you guys think.. peace |
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| good good |
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| 10:41pm 28/06/2002 |
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mood: calm
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Well today guess what i did.... te same damn thing i do everyday, i worked, i wroked till 7 o clock, gay? i think soooo, lol, well i am home right now, sittin on my ass, talki to kelly, wich is always a good thing,cause she brigthens my day, well m and my mom sat down and talked, i explaied to her why i have been upset and like pissed for the past few days/ weeks, and she understood where i was comin from, so it is al good, well i am goin now so buh bye, lol...
water choclate |
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| sleep |
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| 11:50pm 27/06/2002 |
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mood: depressed
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I want to sleep, and never wake up, cause dreamin i alot better than being awake, cause in my dreams we are togeather, and happy, but in reality we are apart and i am unhappy...
I'm tearing away
Pieces are falling I can't seem to make them stay
You run away
Faster and faster you can't seem to get away
Break
Hope there's a reason
For questions unanswered I just don't see everything
Yes I'm inside you
Tell me how does it feel to feel like this
Just like I do
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
Do I really want this
Sometimes I scare myself I just can't let it go
Can you believe it
Everything happens for reasons I just don't know
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone or anything but me
Goddamn I love her |
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| fuck the world, except kelly..... |
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| 11:09pm 27/06/2002 |
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mood:  pissed off
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yes well today started off as a really good day, untill i got home from playin combat with levi and etc.. well i get home and on my first day off in like forever my mom say well gt ready to work, so i was like no i am goin to go to kelly's and go swimmin, soo then she is like no, you are cuttin the grass, so i said fine,and i went outside to cut te grass, then she cam up to me and slapped me, and then i went off, i picked u the lawn mower nd threw it at her, i missed, the she said ohkay a fine be like tim, you cloths will be waitin on the front porch for you, and i started to scream at her, ad get rally pissed, that the pepoe across teh street came over and said somthin to e, and that was when i went to my dads, and that meant imised goin over kelly's which i am really pissed about cause i miss kelly and i wanted to hang out with her, tear... and here i am i am goin to talk to her 2marrow about it.. sh will forgive me tho, i hope.. buh bye for no... |
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| heyhey |
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| 11:50pm 26/06/2002 |
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mood: hopeful
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yes, well tday was he wose day of work yet... let see, i wokeup at 6 o clock, and went to work at like 7, the it started to get hot amd we where up on the roof wihthen made the shigles hot and nw i have burns on my hand form them.. then i was puttin up a peice of sideing,and it feel and i ent to catch it an it cut a gash in my thumb, then i was puttin up a peice of 2x4 and there was a nail stickin out and i cut open my knuckle on it, wow good day...not really, ohhh did i metion i stil have not gotten pid,the guy owes me 50 dollars, i want my money, f i donot get it i will not be able oto havea party, cause i kno the oly way if i can is for me to pay fr evrything so, yeah, but it wil be lots of fun, k, speakin of that i will post it up on my journal, if i can have one, the pepole commnt and tell me if you can, k, well i am done for now, night night, the best part of my day is gettin to talk to kelly... aww, i miss her,lol |
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| survey muchhhhhhhhh |
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| 11:47pm 26/06/2002 |
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mood: calm
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I see: this question...
I need: a girl...
I find: food
I want: food
I wish: i was i love
I love: not having work..
I hate: being alone
I miss: cuddleing
I fear: dieing alone
I feel: bored, that is why i am doin this survey
I hear: my ac
I smell: watermeloean
I crave: love
I search: for love
I wonder: when i will be happy
I regret: workin so damn hard, my fruckin ack hurts..
When was the last time you ...
Smiled?: today
Laughed?: today
Cried?: 3 days ago
Bought something?: 2 dys ago, candy for kelly and frank
Danced?: everyday, lol
Were sarcastic?: today
Kissed someone?: so long ago i forgot how,lol
Talked to an ex?: 2day
Watched your favorite movie?: a while ago
Had a nightmare?: never do, dream catchers work....
A Last time for everything.......
Last book you read: i am readin thisquestion right now,lol
Last movie you saw: Halloween
Last song you heard: papa don't preach, kelly osborne
Last thing you had to drink: 2 secs ago, candy ppl faygo..
Last time you showered: about an hour ago
Last thing you ate: watermeleon... i want more..lol
god i love these things, lol |
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| Surveys |
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| 03:10pm 25/06/2002 |
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mood: calm
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Full Name: John Anthony Risdon
Nicknames: Playboy- J.Risdon-Ant-Risdo
Birthday: 01/06/85
Age: 17
Sign (Chinese &Zodiac): capricorn
Sex: Sure with who?????
Location: Warren Michigan
Height: 6'2
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brownish blonde, very light....
Shoe Size: 11 1/2
Do you have any pets?: yes
Parents: Yeah my mommy....
Siblings (how many/age/name): 3-17,20,19,-Eva, Spring, Tim
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: 9Tear) nope
Do you have a crush?: Hell yeah
What are your screen names?: Playboysxy4
If you have a web page?: Nope nope
Do you have AOL Instant Messanger?: yup yup
If so, what are your screen names?: i dunno, go read acouple of quetions ago...god
~*FaVeS*~
Food: Salad, pizza, kelly's moms chicken, emmm good eatin,lol
Drink: anything faygo...
Book: Playboy...
Movie: Matrixs, Spider-man, X-men, Fast and the furious
Candy: emmm, there are sooo many to chosse, i duno
Gum: that slurppe stuff that you get from 7-eleven
TV Show: The Simpsons
Actor: Vein Deisal
Actress: The girl from sae the last dance
Web Site: come see m,e on my web cam, lol, j/k
Disney Movie: Wizard of OZ, isn't that diseny
Video Game: Grand theft auto 3
Soundtrack: Little Nicky...
Cartoon: simpsons... the are a cartoon
Color: blue, black, and white
Computer Font: Comic sans
Ice Cream Flavor: mosse tracks, ummmmmm
Pizza Topping: pinnaple
Guy's Name: Maliky
Gal's Name: Hayley
Holiday: holloween
Magazine: ummmmm, playboy, i read the articles...
Day: friday
Music Group: Biy tymers0
Place to eat: Ruby tuesdays
Quotes: good guys finish last
Season: Summer
Shampoo: i really do not care
CD/Album: ones that i make...
Sport: tennis, basketball, swimming
~*WhIcH oNe?*~
Sprite/Mountain Dew: Faygo
Pen/Pencil: pen
Coke/Pepsi: Faygo
Hot/Cold: hot
Chocolate/Vanilla: vanilla
Shakira/Jessica Simpson: shakira
Backstreet Boys/NSync: nsync
Christina Aguilera/Britney Spears: britney spears
Sum41/Blink182: sum 41
Linkin Park/P.O.D: Pod
Rock/Rap: both
Pop/R&B: both
Classical/Country: country
Day/Night: nigth
Pool/Hottub: both
Lake/Pool: pool
Beach/Lake: beach
Rich/Famous: rich
Poor/Stupid: poor
Slut/Nerd: riiighttttt
~*OtHeR qUeStIoNs*~
Who are your friends? (name as many as possible): Kelly, levi, jessy, ken, matt, frank, byson, courtney, steve...
What are your hobbies?: anything when there is somethin to do...
What attracts you to the opposite sex?:riiiighhhhhtttt, levi,
How far have you gone?: i dunno,
What do you want to be when you grow up?:loved
Stupidest thing you have done?: gettin kelly upset at me...
What one wish would you want to come true?: ohhhhhhh, everyone knows that one....
Whats your worst habit?: being stupiddddd
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?: take away my scare
How many buddies are on your buddy list? like 70 or somethin
Do you want to have children someday?: yeah
Do you hope to be married one day?: yuppers, fo sho....
What's your biggest fear?: Loneliness, rejection, havin people mad at me..
What really annoys you?: stupid pepole...
What makes you happy?: my friends,kelly
What makes you sad?: you askin me that ?
~*ReLaTiOnShIpS &LoVe*~
How many relationships have you been in?: to many
Have you ever been in love?: yeah
How many times have you said i love you and mean it? to many to count
Do you believe in love at first sight?: not sure
Do you believe in fate?: no ken...lol
Is it possible for a long distance realtionship to work?: i think it's worth it to try
Has anyone ever broken your heart?: yeah
Have you ever broken someone else's heart?: yeah, sorry
Have you ever cheated in a relationship?: yes... sorry
Has anyone ever cheated on you in a relationship?: yes, tear
Do you want to fall in love?: god yes
If you could be in a relationship with anyone, who would it be?: ohhhhh once again everyone knows...
~*AbOuT yOuR sChOoL &cLaSsMaTeS*~
School Name: Fitzgerald
School Colors: blue and gold
Fave Subject: tech ed
Fave Special: strength training...
Fave Teacher: Mr. C
Fave Classmate: i have to many
Weirdest: steve, since kelly said it...lol
Funniest: levi/frank
Smartest: Ken
Dumbest: i would have to say me... sorry kelly, i am dummber than you, lol
Flirtiest: i dunno
Hottest: kelly for sure
The One You Want but can't have?: look above...
Best body: i dunno, i love levi's chest, and tommy stomach, put that on me and i will be hot, lol
Best Eyes: i dunno, lol, all of emmm
Best Smile: all of them have good smiles
Best Laugh: haha, kelly
Best Hair: i dunno
Ugliest: that i mean
Biggest Pervert: Ken for sure
Most Annoying: rob riley
Best to Hang Out with?: all of them...
Most Outgoing: me, i won that in eight grade for being the mostoutgoing person...
Most Beautiful: look above a few quetions
~*Your Friends*~
Who are your friends again?: i am not writin thm all again
Who knows the most about you?: levi, jessy
Weirdest: Steve
Funniest: we are all funny
Smartest: ken
Dumbest: me, lol
Hottest: kelly
Best body: look above at thjat same qution
Best Eyes: hmmm . . . not sure
Best Smile: everyone's smiles are amazing when they are genuine
Best Laugh: good question, haha
Best Hair: dunno
Ugliest: um . . . that would be mean
Most Annoying: why would i be friends with someone annoying??
Best to Hang Out With: i like to hang out with everyone
Most Outgoing: all of em
Most Beautiful: everyone in their own way
Wish You Were More Then Friends: yeah we know that answer...
Did you like this survey?: I have had better, lol |
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playboy4life's journal